![]() ![]() Telling a child who’s struggling at school that they “shouldn’t be struggling” because they are “a smart kid” is gaslighting. It can be as simple as enforcing blanket statements about the child’s character which invalidate their subjective experience. Parental gaslighting happens more than you may think. The end goal is to be seen as the only trustworthy, reliable person in the relationship, allowing the abuser to shape the reality and dynamic as they see fit.Ībusers often seek to isolate their victims from sources of support, leaving them particularly vulnerable and feeling alone.Ī gaslighter might position themselves as the only one capable of making rational choices regarding the couple’s home or professional lives, and often their finances. This is a long-term process that sometimes takes years. They’ll plant false versions of events through seemingly innocent conversation. Over time, this develops into outright denying that events happened the way they remember, sometimes in the face of overwhelming evidence. They’ll accuse them of being oversensitive or overreacting to issues. An abusive partner begins subtly undermining their other half’s judgement. This is maybe the most common version that springs to mind. To help you understand and spot gaslighting, here are some examples you might encounter (or might have encountered already). And try, if you can, to remove yourself from the situation.Īttending group therapy or support groups might help you to find empowerment and healing after a gaslighting experience. If you suspect you’re experiencing gaslighting, start recording events by keeping a diary or physical evidence. This helps them to gain control over the person’s life and isolate them from other people they love. Pretending to have forgotten what has actually happened. Making the person feel like their feelings are unimportant. Questioning the person’s memory of events despite evidence. Pretending not to understand or not listening. This manipulation tactic gets its name from the 1944 movie, “Gaslight.” Gaslighting is a type of abuse that involves convincing a partner, friend, family member, or colleague they’re experiencing mental health problems. ![]()
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